I respawn in a sports shop, and grab a metal baseball, then walk outside in slow motion ready to fight Bryghtside's sister while epic music plays http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1T8xgHdMEM

SISTER

"An elephant? Yay!"

MYSELF

"Okay, Ren, but we'll need to stock up first. I'll work out what kills ghosts, and you come with to make sure she doesn't come and kill us both."

"OK," says Ren, following behind.

We creep out of the shop, and see a skinned elephant mounted my a headless eatmorebabiesmmg00d flying into a wall.

"Damn. She was already here."

A blood-curling scream fills the mall. "Cougar is fighting your sister. That idiot doesn't stand a chance."

We go towards the book store and start searching for books about ghosts.

I run up to Ren and Bryghtside, out of breath and bleeding in the leg, and say "Hi yea so, wuts the deal with this crazy bitch?"

Did I metion my Baseball bat is enchanted with the powerr of ROOOOOCK, so it can hurt her?

duck tape fixes all problems! *tapes head back on* i think i may love your psycho sister

"Are you sure she didn't follow you?"

Too late, I see Sir's sister coming at us.

"Go, I'll hold her for as long as I can."
"Ren..."
"GO, there's no time to argue."
"We'll find a way..."
"Sir... tell Natalie I love her."
"Bye."

I take Cougar's baseball bat in my bladed hand and prepare for the fight.

SISTER

Hee hee, no one will suspect me here, inside Cougar! Hee hee hee!

MYSELF

"Wait - where's she gone?" says Ren.

"I dunno - this is getting creepy. But first things first, we'll need to work out how to stop her - hey, wait - Ren, didn't you stop me with a pentagram when I was a ghost?"

"Well, yeah - that should work!"

*Ren draws a pentagram around us all*

I explode from the pentrgram with his sister coming out of my head

"HAHA. You can't escape from me, brother!"
"Well, you forgot one thing." says Sir.
"And what would that be?"
"We can walk out of the pentagram."

Sir walks out, but me, being a horror movie character, can't run away.
"SIR. Say the incantation!"
"But you'll die."
"There's no other way."
"I'll tell her Ren... I'll tell Natalie."
"JUST DO IT!"

I close my eyes and prepare to die.

I respawn AT THE OTHER END OF THE MALL and let out a resounding ffffffffffffuck. Wondering whats going on at the other end i slowly make my way to the other end.

"Hey, Bryghtside, your sister is HAWT!" I say, drawing my golf clubs and twirling them. "Sorry, but I can't allow you to kill her." our weapons clash, and the ultimate boss battle music starts up in the background.

I sat on a nearby bench after respawning from being fried to see a girlish ghost figure floating around, while being chased around by SirBS and others. The Ghostbusters theme song pops into my head, and i pull up some popcorn, and start to happily munch away, Watching the plight unfold before me.

"Damn, this is better than the movies!" I say in between bites.

Pm0n3y:
I sat on a nearby bench after respawning from being fried to see a girlish ghost figure floating around, while being chased around by SirBS and others. The Ghostbusters theme song pops into my head, and i pull up some popcorn, and start to happily munch away, Watching the plight unfold before me.

"Damn, this is better than the movies!" I say in between bites.

i know right? want some nachos? *munch munch*

eatmorebabiesmmg00d:

i know right? want some nachos? *munch munch*

"Yeah, thanks!" I say, taking some nachos

I pull out a box of candy.

"Want some Buncha Crunch?"

^{Buncha Crunch: the best movie candy ever made!}

I walk up to Pm0n3y and eatmorebabies and say DO YOU NOW HOW BIG THIS FRICKIN MALL IS?!

I've just walked for half an hour to get here!

Right, so, I stick my hand in Bryghtside's chest, pull it out again and flick some of his blood over the pentagram, ruining the pattern. Then I stand over his body and laugh.

ummm dude *points to teleporter*
now shh... your ruining the show!

MYSELF

I am dying on the ground, covered in blood. I dust off the pentagram, free of blood. I have nothing to arm myself with, so I grab a book at random from the shelf called 'Necromancy for Dummies'. I say the incantation, and suddenly all of the corpses in the room come to life. They begin to attack sam g, and while he is fending them off, I begin to read the incantation.

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur-" I am on the last sentence. I can't give up now, I just can't. But Ren...

I must finish it. Can't stop now.

"sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est LABORUM!"

My sister begins to fade, and Ren also starts to disappear.

"Goodbye Ren," I say, the deed at last done.

I start to weaken, and slump on the ground, not yet dead, but unconscious.

Suddenly, I feel a tapping on my shoulder, waking me up...

SISTER

Hee hee! I'm not a ghost, I'm a soul, stupid! Hmmm, what weapon should I use... Oh, books are boring. CHAINSAW TIME! Tap tap, SirBryghtside...

yeah that last sentence about books and chainsaws settles it. i love your sister bryght

"Dude, hands off my woman!" I say to the Baby-Eater, and slash him in half with my golf clubs. Then I turn to the not-quite-dead Sir Bryghtside and finish him off, pushing down on his windpipe with my foot until the breath stops coming.

I sit there...."Is this the end of the movie? It is? ok then!"
I then Smash Sam G's head in with my ROOOOCK baseball bat.
I then sit next to Briyghtsides body waiting for him to respawn.

*duck tapes my self* you wouldn't like me when im angry *stabs sam with a spoon and uses it to eat his brains*

SISTER

sam g:
"Dude, hands off my woman!" I say to the Baby-Eater, and slash him in half with my golf clubs. Then I turn to the not-quite-dead Sir Bryghtside and finish him off, pushing down on his windpipe with my foot until the breath stops coming.

Hey, I was supposed to kill him. CHAINSAW TIME!

ScaredCougar:
I sit there...."Is this the end of the movie? It is? ok then!"
I then Smash Sam G's head in with my ROOOOCK baseball bat.
I then sit next to Briyghtsides body waiting for him to respawn.

Hey, I was supposed to kill him. CHAINSAW TIME!

*blood goes everywere as cougar is ripped into multiple pieces*

MYSELF

I respawn in the grocery store, realising my foolish mistake.

I can vaguely hear the sound of screaming and a chainsaw below me, and I slump on the ground, shedding tears for my lost counterpart, Ren.

*uses umbrella against raining blood* its a bit rainy,no? *stomach grumbles* uh oh...shouldn't of eaten that brain o.o

I respawn in a gaming store and start playing on one of the preview machines.

Simply a ploy to let me be out of the story till i wanna come back

*pukes out brains* eww tasted like smart! *pokes a corpse* hey seen a psycho chainsaw wielding girl around here?

MYSELF

I decide to do something about it.

I grab my sister's favourite food, banana split, and head to the lower floor.

I then check my respawn watch, which shows you your remaining respawns.

Just one. Oh well.

I burst into the bookshop, saddlebag slung over my back, and dual lancers in my hands.

Oh yeah, and this music is playing.

SISTER

Ah, my brother!

CHAINSAW TIME!

*goes to the electronics store and starts tinkering... *

*bursts through the store in a giant robot* look what i made!

MYSELF

I kick a bookshelf over, which almost crushes my sister, but she is too agile, and she comes darting towards me. I duck just in time, but still get a massive gash on my chest.

I decide to look through a couple of books to help me work out what to do. Harry Potter? No. High School Musical Annual? No. Gray's Anatomy? No- wait... what did Ren tell me...

Ren3004:
Actually, the book is so damn heavy that it can kill ghosts. Seriously, look it up.

If the book is that heavy - well, it's worth a try, no matter what. She's gathered her senses now, and is heading straight for me.

I hold the book in fromt of my face, like a shield...

"Nooooooo!!!" I cry, diving in the path of Bryghtside's hot ghost sister. She collides with me, and we both crash to the ground.
"What's your problem?" She asks, kicking me off her.
"The book..." I say, indicating to the copy of Gray's Anatomy.
"Oh..." She says, noticing the anti-ghost aura surrounding it. "But how did you-" then she notices the chainsaw wound I received when we collided. "Wait! No! You can't die!" She screams, tears filling her eyes. "You're the only one I can trust!"
"Remember me... as a friend..." I mutter with my last breath.
The tears in her eyes turn to hatred, and she turns to her brother. "My only friend just died. Now it's your turn."

I turn my attention to the bookstore, to see the previous event unfold. SirBS's sister lunges towards him, avenging Sam's death (even though he'll just respawn, so i don't see what the big deal is).

"Uh oh, shit's about to go down!" I say, still sitting on the bench.

I have to think fast, or she'll kill me forever!

I whip out my portal gun from my saddlebag, and shoot myself with it.

This makes my sister fly into the portal, and out of the mall.

I quickly shoot both portals at the ground so she cannot return through the portal, and think. I grab a bible from the nearest shelf, and flick through till I find what I want.

Aha!

"Matthew 10:28

Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell."

I get the dual lancers, and stab myself.

Everything goes black.

Oh yeah, and this is playing.

I come round, and see St. Peter. I nod, knowing my fate, and he sends me to hell.

I fall at the feet of Lucifer, only now realising what I was doing, and how impossible it seemed.

"Bryghtside?"

The sound came from Satan himself, but it seemed somehow - familiar...

I look up, and have a sudden burst of realisation.

"Ren - is that you?" I said, for seated in the throne of Hell was Ren.

"Yes - turns out that I was Lucifer! But what are you doing here?"

"Long story - but I need to get back to the mall. I did some digging, and found that the Devil - that is to say, you, are the only one that can destroy souls."

"So you want me to help you?"

"Yes."

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's destroy her!"

Ren suddenly teleports us back to the mall, and I get my dual lancers back from my corpse (careful - don't touch it - we don't want another time paradox on our hands), ready for the fight.

After seeing SirBS kill himself, i decide that it's time to window shop, seeing that the show was over. Suddenly two figures appear in front of me. One of them grabs the dual lancers that SirBS used to kill himself with. The other figure walks up to me. he looks sorta familiar...

"Ren? The hell happened to you?" I say, recognizing the fiery hooded figure.

"It's a long story. Bottom line: SirBS's ghostly sister is gonna make her way back into the mall, and we're gonna make a final stand against her. Wanna help?" Ren asks

"Aw, what the hell, it beats doing what i was about to do." I say pulling my two short swords out of their holsters.

"Wait, wait!" SirBS's ghost says, running over to the intercom, and putting epic battle music into a cd player.

"It can't be a epic battle without epic battle music*!"

_{*Warning, the following epic battle song may be too epic for those with weak hearts or for those without a sense of humor.}